Thought of the day

Feel that fulfilment with peace, achievements and freedom you have, and wisdom gained along the way. Honour yourself. Your soul will shine more.

I think, “again, this is where I wish I am able to communicate with people, even strangers I see sitting at the tables or in a pub or at the camp site, and talk about what I am doing and exchange experiences with them as in every day chit chats. Why am I deaf? Why can’t they sign Auslan?” Fuck. I feel alone communicating with my own self. I realise sometimes it is hard when I am talking to guys. Which ones are interested in this stuff and which ones are not? For example, I talk to what this guy appears to be a friendly hippie guy about the readings that I am exploring, but he turned out to be a redneck who doesn’t do this type of shit. I can’t win. If I could hear how people talk and pick out their voices, the tones, the words they choose, their beliefs, then I know what is safe to choose to talk with them about. This shits me. That is the reason why I don’t communicate with hearing people with my voice because it prevents me from having communication breakdowns, miscommunications, misinterpretations, and all those things in between me and them. In a group, that is impossible. This is what depresses me with my life. I am stuck in my deaf skin.


On the Roll…

Some updates:

My potential publisher, Robert Watkins, who is also my mentor on preparing the manuscript, had said that he is ready with a structural report of my writings. This means he had made suggestions of his ideas for the editor who will merge my writings from the drafted memoirs into a first draft manuscript. We are meeting on Friday to go over his suggestions, and if I am happy with them. I’m really excited! I can hardly wait to see his suggestions.

And… he has found an editor for me. I’m thrilled! I have funding put aside some for the editor. This is making me feel like my book project is finally happening. The editor and I are meeting early July. Watch this space!

I’m looking into doing some courses provided by Writers Victoria to do for professional development. They have heaps of amazing topics, events and workshops for the rest of the year. I’m thankful for my funding support so I can pay for them.

Exciting times ahead! I will do a vlog soon describing both meetings.


The Waiting Game

so… my writings are with the publisher… it is so exciting… my first writing contents ever… being reviewed for structure report… i thought writing is hard work but no… once i wrote all contents of 3 separate memoirs that could be ‘mergable’ (you see, i made up that word because I prefer to describe this experience in Auslan rather than typing it all down first hand, which is easier, but then if I filmed myself I would have to edit the clip, upload it onto youtube (and I use a pocket wifi in a rural area which is costly!), then get the embedding link and paste it in here so a video appears as a vlog (video as blog) – what an extended way of adding information here! – no grumblings but do appreciate the fact that you are getting an english version of this journal after all :)) – and I have waffled on back then… back on track now… mergable…. and it is over to the publisher, who is handling the manuscript preparation process, to read, review and provide a structure report for me to read his suggestions…. I look forward to his report… thrills! Over and out for now.